Day 35- 5 Weeks post op

Here are my photos for 5 weeks post op.

Trying to smile as much as my lips will let me.

Not 100% natural yet, but getting there.

Day 5 and Day 35. Wow what a difference 30 days makes!! I was extremely swollen, I don't even recognise myself looking back at these photos from the first week of recovery.

Day 34

Sorry I have been not been blogging regularly this last week, lets just say, I have had a challenging week, dealing with a few things. My life is slowly getting back to normality, maybe not as quickly as I may have hoped. I have tried to get out as much as I can, seeing friends, going shopping ect, however there have been a few times in the last week where I have felt really horrible and couldn't even cope with going outside for a walk. I am a naturally anxious person so when things don't feel right I get stressed out and start getting really negative towards myself. I have tried to stay strong and positive throughout this recovery, but I think I finally cracked and I had a bit of a cry yesterday. I find the more I read and dwell on certain issues I am worrying about, the worst these negative feelings get. This is why I have not blogged as frequently. I needed to take my mind off the surgery and try not to think or write about it too much. I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot expect perfection form this surgery and there are things that I might just have to live with.

Before surgery, I would often think to myself, "Ok I'm never going to be as pretty or have flawless skin like other girls. I have to accept that". What I desperately wanted as an outcome of this surgery was too look and feel normal (and of course have a functioning bite). I want to be able to get dressed up and feel good about myself and not have to constantly compare myself to others, wishing I looked different. I need to start loving me for who I am and what I look like, flaws and all. Anyways I believe this surgery WILL improve my self esteem, I love my new profile and bite and hopefully in time I will have full lip competence back and be a happier person in general :)

Sorry enough about that.. I did had friends over for lunch today and am feeling much better, however I still have some issues that I am facing at the moment.

Issue number 1.

Almost everyday in the last week, I have woken up with a headache which seems to linger on all day. It's just a niggling headache but it's still annoying. I also have been experiencing really intense TMJ pain when first waking up. It's a horrible throbbing pain and gives me an ear ache. I must still be clenching or grinding my teeth at night :(

Pre braces and surgery, I wore a bite splint at night to protect my teeth and prevent me from grinding heavily. I can't wear it over my braces and it wouldn't fit anymore as it was custom made to my old bite. I asked my Ortho yesterday about the headaches and he said I definitely will need to get a new bite splint as soon as my braces come off in November. That's a long time to wait!! I really hope the TMJ pain subsides, and that it's only more severe at the moment because the bones are healing and are trying to get used to their new position. I was hoping that this surgery would help to eliminate my TMJ problems, but I have just read that the surgery can sometimes aggravate it even more!!! arggghh, How does that make sense?? so frustrating. The pain only really lasts during breakfast so I don't take any pain meds for it, but waking up is not pleasant at all.

Issue number 2.

My bite is basically perfect and my mid lines match up, however I have noticed that my very back molers are not touching at all! I am worried about this as they were one of a few teeth that actually made proper contact pre surgery. I don't know why they don't meet now, but I told my Ortho and he said he will fix it with elastics and bring them together. He didn't seem too concerned about it and kept remaking on how much my bite has improved.

Has anyone else had issues with their molars not touching after surgery?? I really don't need something else to worry and get stressed about at the moment, but I am curious.

I saw my OS yesterday and it was a very quick visit, as he was very happy with my progress. He got me to close my eyes while he poked certain area's on my face with an instrument. I had to point to these areas where he had touched. Even though I am still slightly numb in certain parts off my face, I was able to identify every touch correctly. I am on track and there will be no permanent loss of feeling, which is great. The lumpiness around my nose is getting better also, there is still some swelling, but at least I can laugh without feeling like the sides of my nose are going to tear open. It was so painful previously. My chin is gaining more and more feeling everyday. It feels SO much less heavier then it did a few weeks back. My skin has also been at it's worst in the last week since my surgery! I have numerous spots that have appeared out of nowhere and a really shiny chin. My skin just feels gross and yuk.

I will go back to work around 6 weeks post op. I just don't think I have been ready mentally and physically to return any earlier. These constant headaches don't help either and talking all day to customers with these elastics in would not be fun.

I am eager to go back so I can get out of the house and feel part of society again, but definitely not rushing anything. I'm on sickness allowance form the government, so I have some money coming in, which is a huge relief.

If I can give you, what I believe to me the most helpful advice about coping with this surgery, it would be to have SUPPORT around you and to be proactive with getting yourself better. It is SO important to have a family member, a good friend, a partner, or just someone who will be there for you everyday, either living with you, or seeing you frequently. It needs to be someone who will be there when you want to cry, complain, get angry, go for a walk with or just talk to about the way your feeling. Your face experiences so many different pain sensations and dramatic changes in it's appearance after surgery. Without having someone there to experience the journey with you, it could be very easy to feel discouraged and get down on yourself. My mum has been really great and has listened to all my worries and concerns. Without her encouragement and reassurance everyday that I doing really well and looking ok, I don't know what kind of state I would be in now. Yes I have bad days, but I am glad she is there to help me through it. Please don't go through the surgery alone!!!!

Sorry this post is so long, but I wanted to be honest and share some of my hardships and struggles with you. It's a very challenging journey, but I am getting there :)

*Blogger is being annoying, so I will try to post up photos tomorrow to mark 5 weeks post op*

Day 28- 4 WEEKS POST OP

Today marks 4 weeks since my surgery!! Wow I can't believe I have finally gotten to this stage of my recovery :)

I had a visit from my sister today. I was very curious to see her reaction, as she has not seen me since before my surgery. Wow, she was totally amazed with the changes in my profile and bite!! She couldn't believe the difference in my face shape and said that the surgery really has softened and balanced out my features nicely. It was so great to finally hear this from someone close to me. (other then my Mum). I was so worried she would think I look strange and still very swollen, but in fact, she kept saying, "I can't stop staring at your profile, it's amazing and really pretty".

I also met up quickly with my good friend on Tuesday, (the girl who's wedding I went to recently). Her husband and her are both nurses and can relate/understand the things I have gone through, so I told them all the gorry details of my surgery, haha. They both commented on how well I'm looking and were amazed at my before/after photos. It's nice to have their support :)

My lips still don't come together naturally. I can force them, but it's tight and does not feel comfortable at all. This is the only thing that is of concern to me now. I know it takes time, but having full lip competency was one thing I was really looking forward to post surgery. My lips are still tight and stiff and when I try to close them my chin puckers ever so slightly. I really hope it's not a permanent thing as I hated the dimples (mentalis strain) that would occur on my recessed chin, pre surgery. I am hoping it's just because there is still some swelling to subside. Besides this, I am more then happy with how everything else is coming along.

Nothing much else to report until I see my OS and ortho next week.

Day 25

I think more swelling has gone down in the last few days! YAY. Actually last night I was able to close my lips together with not much strain, and it felt semi normal. However today this was not the case at all, but they have definitely loosened up and I feel there is more movement in that area when I talk. I am hitting the shops this arvo. I need to find a birthday present for my nephew who's turning 5 this week. This will be the first time I've actually been out amongst lots of people in public other then the movie cinema. I don't feel completely comfortable about my appearance yet, but it's slowly getting there.

The area around my nostrils and cheeks is still really sore and lumpy to touch. When I laugh, this area is so painful. I guess it's just sore from the swelling around the plates and screws in my top jar.

I really want to look at my X-rays again. I got a copy at the hospital, but then I handed them to my OS at our first post op appointment. I thought they were mine to keep, but apparently not. I asked If I could get a copy and my surgeon's receptionist said she will try to get me one later on. I think I deserve to have a copy right? It is my face and everything.

Dani or Tina, do you both have a copy of your post surgery xrays? It's so weird, but kinda cool looking at all the plates and screws that are holding the jaw and chin in place. ekkk

Crappy laptop photos again.

Day 24

It has been a great and sunny weekend. After all the rain we have been having here, it was so nice to finally get outside and soak up some much needed sun. I went for a walk both days and instantly felt more energized and less tired.

My face is feeling less tight everyday, which is great. I feel like around my chin and cheeks have loosened up quite a bit. Directly under my bottom lip is still really puffy and numb.

I am getting really tired with the whole routine of taking elastics out, eating, rinsing, cleaning teeth, and putting elastics back in. I feel as though so much of my day is taken up with this repetitive routine. Also, how annoying is it having numb gums?? I am constantly getting food stuck in my upper and lower gums and not realizing it's there, until I rinse out my mouth and see it all fall out into the sink. I just can't feel it there at all. When I eat, food also gets stuck everywhere in my braces, like way more then it did before the surgery. My friend, who's wedding I went to on Day 9, has invited me around for dinner at her new house this week. I don't think I want to go because my eating is very unattractive to watch and still sometimes messy. Because I can't chew properly, I tend to shovel in my food really quickly in order to get that feeing of something inside my tummy. Maybe I am eating too quick, because I never get that full feeing anymore. I am constantly hungry and thinking about food! lol

Anyone else experiencing the same sort of issues with eating?? I really miss being able to enjoy my food properly. :(

In other news, my sister is finally coming up to visit me this Wednesday. She has three kids under the age of 6 and works crazy hours as a midwife, so I totally get why she has not yet seen me. I am very anxious to know what she thinks of my appearance. I will fill you all in with the details later this week.

Also, I desperately need a haircut. I haven't had one since just before my Fiji trip back at the beginning of April! Woops!!! I guess I was a bit preoccupied with Uni work and this surgery to make an appointment, but I really have no excuses now. My side fringe has grown out and it's at that stage where I can't really do anything with it, just looks messy and untidy. I want to get back into doing normal everyday things, so hopefully getting a haircut will be a good start :)

My friend, who came with me to the wedding on Day 9, gave me a copy of all the photos she took at the ceremony! I had forgotten about this one. Arrggh!!! I was so swollen that day. I remember my cheeks felt REALLY hot and puffy and I was paranoid about having a red face. So glad I am past that stage now, yuk

That wedding photo above is a bit of a contrast to this one hey?! This was taken for a formal occasion before my braces last year! I really like this photo, but you can tell that my face appears very long due to a vertically growing bottom jaw and that I hardly had any chin definition.

I am much happier with my face shape and height now. I was also half smiling, as to not show any gum haha. Actually it's probably more similar to my current smile now.

Day 22

Nothing exciting happening at the moment! I don't see my OS or ortho till the end of this month where I will most likely get some more x-rays and photos taken and possibly a different elastic configuration.

This is my current elastic configuration. I wear three elastics 24/7 and they are super tight and really lock my bite together. Feels very secure, but it makes talking rather difficult, so I sometimes take the middle elastic out when I'm out in public or talking a lot. I wear the clear elastics, but my ortho also gave me a bag of coloured elastics like I was 12years old. I don't know if it was just as a joke, but seriously?!? Thanks, I cant wait to start wearing these pink, purple and green elastics in my mouth! haha NOT!!

I definitely couldn't wear these elastic while I was working. I talk with customers constantly and need to be able to open my mouth properly. Hopefully by the time I go back to work, I will have a less intrusive band configuration.

Has anyone else noticed how much colour you lose from your lips after surgery?? Mine currently look albino, especially the numb bottom lip. It's like they have lost all their pigmentation, and It makes me look so white and pale If I don't put any tinted lip gloss on them. I really hope the colour comes back soon. I've never had red rosy lips, just soft pink, but even that has completely vanished. It must be something to do with the lack of blood and circulation moving around in that numb lip... BOO :(

I woke up at 5am this morning and totally freaked out about the way I was sleeping. My jaw was kind of sore and I suddenly had a horrible thought that maybe I shouldn't be sleeping down on my side with my cheek to the pillow. What if It is shifting around and moving out of position?!??

I know this is properly more then unlikely, but I do have this HUGE fear about relapse. I know it's very uncommon and my OS didn't bring it up as being a concern, but I would hate to think that my sleeping position is having a negative impact on the way my jaw bones are healing. I read that is takes 6 weeks for the bones to properly heal and to be firmly set in their exact position. Anyways I decided to set myself up in my previous upright position and slept like that till 8am.Was anyone informed about how long you should sleep upright? I think I stopped sleeping upright after day 12!!!! Is this wrong?? Could I be causing any damage by sleeping with my cheek firmly on the pillow?? Or am I just freaking out over nothing? haha

Today the rain has finally stopped and the sun is trying its hardest to come out. I decided to walk to my cafe to see some of my work mates there. My supervisor didn't even recognise me when I first walked in with my friend, It wasn't until I said hello that he was like "Wow, hi". I told him the ins and outs of the surgery and he was surprised I was talking so well, but said it still looked weird because of my mouth/lips not moving properly. I cant say that I felt 100% comfortable being there today. He properly was thinking how strange I now look. I don't want people not to recognise me! Did he not recognise because I looked worse or better? humph

Dani I don't know how you have gone back to work so early!!! You are very brave. I guess the fact that you look drop dead gorgeous does help :)

I feel so pale and washed out at the moment. I need some sun and I NEED some colour back in my cheeks and lips. I need to feel normal!!! Sorry about all the complaining, I guess it's been a bit of a "hump" week of my recovery thus far.

I have nothing on my lips in this photo... look how pale they are!! I look sick and grose :(

The crap quality of this photo doesn't help either but trust me they are white!!

Day 21 -3 WEEKS POST OP

I feel as though my swelling has slightly increased these last couple of days! I don't know if its from the way I've been sleeping or not, but I feel more puffier at the moment :(

I am not sleeping upright at all anymore, I use 3 pillows and sleep right down on my side. Anyways I think I will start alternating from my ice-packs to my heat packs a bit more today to see if I can get the swelling to go down at all. I totally agree with you guys that you look and feel more swollen in the morning then at night! So annoying.

The weather is driving me insane!!! It's still overcast, cold and rainy. I am wishing so much for the sun to come back out as I am getting really down being inside all the time. I have only been able to go for one walk so far this week. The week just seems to go so much slower when the weather is crap!!

Sorry about the quality/colour contrast of these pics! Still do not have a working digital camera at the moment! But you get the general idea anyway...

I seem to be able to smile more on my left side. (notice the creases)

Right side is a lot more stiff and swollen!

Day 19

It has been so wet and rainy this long weekend, so I have spent a majority of the time as a couch potato, reading and watching movies. I did make it out in public with my friends on Sunday. We went to see the movie, Water For Elephants. I wore 2/ 3 of my elastics, so I could at least talk normally and not slurp as much. It is annoying not being able to fully close my lips, I felt as though people would be wondering what was wrong with me, but I don't think anyone even looked me at all. I was even able to eat a few pieces of popcorn, success!!

It's been hard to find motivation for any exercise because of the wet weather, but I am going to make a big effort this week to get off my bum and do something!! I have lost weight, but am slowly putting it back on as I am constantly eating but not really moving. I had to suspend my Gym membership for a few weeks, while I was recovering, but I wonder when I should go back?

I usually do a Pump class or a Cardio Boxing class 2 or 3 times a week, but definitely don't feel up to lifting weights and doing squats, lunges and deadlifts, just yet. There are a few things from the class I could attempt at home, so I might try that first.

Yesterday was a public holiday for the Queens birthday. I work as a casual Barista at a local cafe and I usually work EVERY public holiday as the money is amazing! I really missed working yesterday, the people are fun, and all I was doing was sitting at home, wasting the day away. I took 6 weeks off from work, but thinking I will go back a little sooner.

Not much else to discuss. My bottom lip is still really numb and I am attempting to chew soft food like toast now. Because of the lack of movement, and stiffness in that lip, It does take a long time to get through my food, plus I still dribble. I would NOT feel comfortable eating out in public at the moment :(

When I attempt to smile or laugh, the bottom half of my face feels so stiff and chubby, like a cabbage patch kid. I don't have all my expression lines back either. I know it takes time, but I hate waiting!!!

Before and after

My bite and smile was HUGE!! no open gap now :)

Day 17- More photo comparisons

Here are some more profile photo comparisons. It is quite extraordinary to see the differences in the before and after! I really hope this is helpful for anyone out there who has a similar "Open" bite/ jaw discrepancy, and are yet to have their surgery. I know it was very beneficial for me to see before and after pics while I was waiting to have my surgery!

Remember this is at Day 17, and obviously not the final outcome and result for me. I still have stiffness and swelling in the bottom half of my face, especially around my lips and chin area. closing my lips together does not feel completely natural yet, because they are still tight and slightly numb.

I want to say a HUGE Thank you to everyone who have said such kind things regarding my profile. Even at this early stage, I am starting to feel happy with the outcome of my surgery, even though it will take some time to get used to! I really am 100% glad I got it done, I finally have a normal functioning bite and a better balanced profile :)

Words can not express how un-natural my profile felt pre surgery. Everything just felt tense and strained and It really did show. Even when I was in a great mood, my face at rest did not display the way I truly felt. I looked angry or worried all the time. It was so frustrating not being able to close my lips properly over my open bite and constantly feeling insecure about it! When out with friends, I actually would make a point of talking a lot as I preferred to have my mouth open, showing my straight teeth then to sit there with my mouth closed, feeling all the muscles in the bottom half of my face strain. I also hated people starring at me side on.

Eating with an Open bite really does suck!! I can't wait to be able to start using my new bite very soon :)

Anyways If you experience ANY of this and are having the surgery soon, I am REALLY excited for you, because I know you will have great results too!!!

Before and After

Right side-Lips closed

Right side- Lips open with smile

Left side- Lips closed

Left side- Lips open with smile

Front view- lips relaxed.

Front view with smile.

This was a bit of a silly photo with my hoodie and scarf, but I started to get really cold while taking these pics today. It has been a very cold and rainy long weekend so far. This was the only decent front I go as my smile is weird and does not feel 100% natural yet! I can tell however, that it will be less gummy.

Also, my mum made a comment about me looking younger. Do you think I look younger?? I am 24 this year! I don't want to look too young! lol

Day 15

So at 7:30 this morning I got a call from my OS asking If I could come in at 11am to get my stitches removed. On Tuesday I asked him about the stitches and he said they should stay in for another week and a half. Our next appointment together was scheduled for the 28th June, which I thought, if my stitches hadn't already dissolved he would just take the rest out then. Anyways apparently he is going away and decided he didn't want me having them in for that long and wanted to take them out today.

It felt like I had my mouth wide open for ages while he carefully snipped out around 30 stitches...snip snip snip. I was trying to count as he went along my top and bottom gums. There were so many! The stitches up under my top lip were the most sensitive. It wasn't really that painful just uncomfortable. I am very glad to be finally free of them.

Today I thought I would do a profile comparison. A while back I posted a blog entry with photos of my current profile, pre surgery. (2nd down in my popular posts section) I was looking at them today and decided to take the same front on profile photo, to compare. Haha I even put on the same earrings this morning that I was wearing that day by accident.

Notice any changes? It's like a spot the difference game :)

Before and After

One massive change that I can notice is the elongation of my face height. Because he impacted my top jaw by 5mm, the mid portion of my face was shortened. Bringing the bottom jaw and chin forward also helped with decreasing my face height. Without the huge "open" bite, I will finally be able to close my lips without so much strain, which is so evident in the before photo.

At the moment it's still hard to fully close my lips because of all the tightness and swelling, but I am slowly getting there. I have NEVER been able to smile with my lips closed before, so it's exciting for me to know this might be possible, finally!!!!

2 WEEKS POST OP

No appointments today, so I went for a lovely walk with mum to get out of the house. I am about to sit down and watch the Black Swan. I have not seen it yet, but am a bit of a fan of Natalie Portman. I have heard the movie is pretty full on and a bit strange. We shall see if it's any good.

I don't think I have mentioned in my blog yet about the massive bruise I got while in surgery! When I woke up in ICU my right arm was absolutely killing me and I thought they had broken it in theatre. Mum said I wasn't complaining about any pain except for my arm. Apparently they had a hard time taking out some blood and getting the cannula into that arm. It is bizarre that this would cause such a horrific bruise. I donate blood all the time and have never had any troubles with needles. I showed my surgeon at our last appointment and he doubled checked my lymph node glands in that arm to make sure everything was still ok.

All good, I just had an unusual reaction in that arm :(

Anyway its a beauty of a bruise hey?!

The biggest I've ever had. It's actually worse then the

bruising I got on my face. I have been showing everyone because it's pretty impressive. haha

Bruise on day 1 in hospital

Bruise at 2 weeks.

Day 14 profile pics. Not much change