Sorry I have been not been blogging regularly this last week, lets just say, I have had a challenging week, dealing with a few things. My life is slowly getting back to normality, maybe not as quickly as I may have hoped. I have tried to get out as much as I can, seeing friends, going shopping ect, however there have been a few times in the last week where I have felt really horrible and couldn't even cope with going outside for a walk. I am a naturally anxious person so when things don't feel right I get stressed out and start getting really negative towards myself. I have tried to stay strong and positive throughout this recovery, but I think I finally cracked and I had a bit of a cry yesterday. I find the more I read and dwell on certain issues I am worrying about, the worst these negative feelings get. This is why I have not blogged as frequently. I needed to take my mind off the surgery and try not to think or write about it too much. I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot expect perfection form this surgery and there are things that I might just have to live with.
Before surgery, I would often think to myself, "Ok I'm never going to be as pretty or have flawless skin like other girls. I have to accept that". What I desperately wanted as an outcome of this surgery was too look and feel normal (and of course have a functioning bite). I want to be able to get dressed up and feel good about myself and not have to constantly compare myself to others, wishing I looked different. I need to start loving me for who I am and what I look like, flaws and all. Anyways I believe this surgery WILL improve my self esteem, I love my new profile and bite and hopefully in time I will have full lip competence back and be a happier person in general :)
Sorry enough about that.. I did had friends over for lunch today and am feeling much better, however I still have some issues that I am facing at the moment.
Issue number 1.
Almost everyday in the last week, I have woken up with a headache which seems to linger on all day. It's just a niggling headache but it's still annoying. I also have been experiencing really intense TMJ pain when first waking up. It's a horrible throbbing pain and gives me an ear ache. I must still be clenching or grinding my teeth at night :(
Pre braces and surgery, I wore a bite splint at night to protect my teeth and prevent me from grinding heavily. I can't wear it over my braces and it wouldn't fit anymore as it was custom made to my old bite. I asked my Ortho yesterday about the headaches and he said I definitely will need to get a new bite splint as soon as my braces come off in November. That's a long time to wait!! I really hope the TMJ pain subsides, and that it's only more severe at the moment because the bones are healing and are trying to get used to their new position. I was hoping that this surgery would help to eliminate my TMJ problems, but I have just read that the surgery can sometimes aggravate it even more!!! arggghh, How does that make sense?? so frustrating. The pain only really lasts during breakfast so I don't take any pain meds for it, but waking up is not pleasant at all.
Issue number 2.
My bite is basically perfect and my mid lines match up, however I have noticed that my very back molers are not touching at all! I am worried about this as they were one of a few teeth that actually made proper contact pre surgery. I don't know why they don't meet now, but I told my Ortho and he said he will fix it with elastics and bring them together. He didn't seem too concerned about it and kept remaking on how much my bite has improved.
Has anyone else had issues with their molars not touching after surgery?? I really don't need something else to worry and get stressed about at the moment, but I am curious.
I saw my OS yesterday and it was a very quick visit, as he was very happy with my progress. He got me to close my eyes while he poked certain area's on my face with an instrument. I had to point to these areas where he had touched. Even though I am still slightly numb in certain parts off my face, I was able to identify every touch correctly. I am on track and there will be no permanent loss of feeling, which is great. The lumpiness around my nose is getting better also, there is still some swelling, but at least I can laugh without feeling like the sides of my nose are going to tear open. It was so painful previously. My chin is gaining more and more feeling everyday. It feels SO much less heavier then it did a few weeks back. My skin has also been at it's worst in the last week since my surgery! I have numerous spots that have appeared out of nowhere and a really shiny chin. My skin just feels gross and yuk.
I will go back to work around 6 weeks post op. I just don't think I have been ready mentally and physically to return any earlier. These constant headaches don't help either and talking all day to customers with these elastics in would not be fun.
I am eager to go back so I can get out of the house and feel part of society again, but definitely not rushing anything. I'm on sickness allowance form the government, so I have some money coming in, which is a huge relief.
If I can give you, what I believe to me the most helpful advice about coping with this surgery, it would be to have SUPPORT around you and to be proactive with getting yourself better. It is SO important to have a family member, a good friend, a partner, or just someone who will be there for you everyday, either living with you, or seeing you frequently. It needs to be someone who will be there when you want to cry, complain, get angry, go for a walk with or just talk to about the way your feeling. Your face experiences so many different pain sensations and dramatic changes in it's appearance after surgery. Without having someone there to experience the journey with you, it could be very easy to feel discouraged and get down on yourself. My mum has been really great and has listened to all my worries and concerns. Without her encouragement and reassurance everyday that I doing really well and looking ok, I don't know what kind of state I would be in now. Yes I have bad days, but I am glad she is there to help me through it. Please don't go through the surgery alone!!!!
Sorry this post is so long, but I wanted to be honest and share some of my hardships and struggles with you. It's a very challenging journey, but I am getting there :)
*Blogger is being annoying, so I will try to post up photos tomorrow to mark 5 weeks post op*
Hey girl, even though I haven't blogged about it as much, I certainly have felt many of the things you are feeling now. I am not thrilled with the way I look front on, and that's really hard for me. I think everyone who goes through this surgery is hoping for this absolutely picture perfect result, and it is very rarely the case. I think that because I had so many issues with my jawline before, I pictured myself coming out of this surgery with the perfect face, my absolute ideal face shape, but obviously that was very unrealistic of me. I am trying to avoid too much judgement of my face until 2 months post-op when most of the swelling is gone!
ReplyDeleteI am having very similar issues with my bite as you. My surgeon and ortho say my bite is 'perfect', but I can only feel myself biting down on my left side. I don't feel like my teeth are touching barely at all on the right. They both haven't even talked to me about it until I mentioned it to them, and they both said it can be fixed easily with elastics. They act like it's no big deal, so I am sure it isn't, but it is a bit frustrating when I almost feel like my bite is worse in some ways. I have never had an issue of not being able to bite down on BOTH sides, so this is frustrating for me, but I am sure it can be fixed.
Feel absolutely free to contact me through facebook if you want. I know it's a pretty tough period, when all of the healing and changes are really slowing down, so I can definitely relate! xx
I can only imagine how hard it must be adjusting to so many changes. I have read about other people having to have elastics to bring certain teeth together after surgery, it seems to be pretty normal. I think once you are back to normal and doing normal things you will be so happy. Staying home can drive anyone crazy.
ReplyDeleteI'm really starting to think a lot about the whole support thing now and I feel really happy that my mom will be flying in for 3 weeks when I have surgery, she is so amazing, but lives in Australia. Other than that I don't know anyone who will certainly be strong enough to endure all the stuff jaw surgery entails. I really hope things brighten up a lot for you very soon and that your pain subsides as your jaw settles. You look beautiful, in all honestly I wish my surgery turns out as good as yours.