Its weird, I feel completely fine with sharing my thoughts and feelings towards the surgery with all your fellow 'bloogers', (even thought I have never met any of you lovely people!) however I have struggled in knowing HOW much is too much when it comes to sharing with the people around me? Its such an awkward thing to talk about to people who have never experience or had any major dental work done before! Some close friends have taken a bit of interest and asked a few questions and I have tried to explain the reasons why I'm getting it done and what the surgery actually involves, but its like they don't fully get it. There like what!?! they move/break your jaw? but how? and why?? I showed a few friends the animated diagram videos off Youtube to give them a visual as too how the jaw is moved and re-attached.. They were sooo surprised at how much I'm really having done and were a bit freaked out. I don't know, maybe the less you tell people the better.
I know... I shouldn't be worried what people think and that I don't really need to explain it to people, because frankly its none of their business, but with certain people at work and a few friends, I feel like I have to justify my jaw condition to them, to make the surgery sound worth while. They just don't understand why I would need or WANT to put myself through 6 hours of surgery. For a while, I decided I wouldn't tell anyone, besides my immediate family. Now it seems most people know... I mean it was kinda hard NOT to tell them, with the braces going back on and the whole change of profile etc.
I guess I just want to hear from you guys on how you have all dealt with this? How many people in your world know about your surgery and have taken a key interest?
Also, do you let your friends and family read your blog.. do they even know you have one? My mum knows that I write and follow other blogs, but no one else has any idea! Maybe thats a good thing :) Its nice to keep some things private :)
My mum, sister and my best friend have been the most supportive about my surgery and are really excited for me to be finally getting it done! My other friends however, hmmm.. they say I'm extremely brave for going through with it, but I wonder what there really thinking! All I can say is that I'm soooo glad Im going through it and thats the main thing, I guess :)
2 days till surgery...
Hi Rihanna. I have talked abiut it with people but I find some are interested, some are freaked, it depends on the person. I don't feel like there is anyone in the outside world I can truly be open with. My mom can't handle if I am not 100% thrilled at all times. And my boyfriend cannot handle hearing anything specific about the surgery or medical in nature. So I am trying to just keep my thoughts to my blogger friends. I have started going in public and although I feel fine, I am getting odd stares and I can tell no one thinks I look 'good'. People know I blog but none of them have the link and I hope none of them have tried to find it. I'm starting to feel lonely, isolated, and self-conscious. Hopefully things move aling quickly. I am dying to move past this and resume a normal life again.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel about what to tell people. I haven't let anyone see my blog except for my boyfriend. He has been so supportive as well as my mom. I think mothers naturally just worry for their children so she wants to know as much as she can, unfortunately she lives in Australia. I haven't told my friends a lot because they just don't get it or they start to assume that its some type of cosmetic procedure to make my face look different.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I am so happy I started blogging because I think the best support I have had and will continue to have has been other people in the same boat sharing their experiences. And just to imagine one day we will all be done with our surgeries, out of braces, and enjoying our new jaws and profiles :)
This has been one of my issues too. My mum and sister know all about it and they are supportive, but to be honest I think they get bored of me going on about it so I try not to talk about it too much! My closest friends all know about it - some seem more interested than others, but I think in general they don't really care that much. I've shown a couple of them the youtube videos. I think that kind of makes it hit them how much of a big deal it all is - my sister and one of my friends looked horrified when I actually showed them what would be happening to my face, and my sister said 'Don't do it!' haha! A few people know about my blog, but as far as I know only my mum and one of my friends has looked at it - she googled my name and 'jaw surgery' and because of a link I put on the facebook group it came straight up! But I'm trying to keep it mostly private too though because I find it quite embarrassing! I don't mind all you guys seeing my ugly pics cos I know that they're serving a purpose! I think I'd be embarrassed for people to read all the stuff I talk about on there too, because it's something that only other jaw bloggers understand. I completely agree with Terra, I'm so glad I did the blog because having other people who are going through the same thing is great!
ReplyDeleteMy main issue at the moment is what to tell people who ask about my braces - although having said that, nobody's asked!! But if they do I don't know whether to say about surgery, or just say 'I'm getting some more stuff done to my teeth'. I always feel like if I say about the surgery people will think I'm just attention-seeking, but I don't mind talking about the surgery and don't know whether I might as well just be honest!
Sorry for the essay-long comment!
Thanks guys for sharing!
ReplyDeleteIm so glad you feel the same way and have had similar issues and problems with talking to people about the surgery.
Terra.. yeah thats what I mean about having to justify the surgery, I hate the fact that some people might think Im only doing the surgery, for purley cosmetic reasons, to change my appearance. So I feel I need to constantly talk about all the problems associated with my open bite. The fact that my profile will be changed is a big part of me wanting the surgery as I have always suffered with self esteem issues, but its not the main reason.. I want to have a proper functioning jaw for the rest of my life and be free of pain :)
Sarah... I totally can relate to everything you mentioned in your comment.. At times I feel like Im boring my family with the ins and outs of the surgery, so I try to save that for my blog writing because I know others out there are nterested in hearing the details of the whole process and find it helpful.
I too would be slightly embarrassed If my friends were to stumble across my blog.. They wouldn't get it and wonder why I share my photos and personal thoughts over the net. I really do think blogging is a great way to connect with others who are going through the same thing. Its like a supportive network and the amazing and helpful info I have received from reading all your blogs posts, I could have never found on Google.
Stay strong everyone! x
Hi Rhianna,
ReplyDeleteIt's TOTALLY ok for you to want to have a normal profile and look like you were supposed to be born looking in the first place. If someone had 6 fingers, would it be wrong for them to want to remove the spare? And why do people color gray hair? I think most people would be accepting of these things, but i do find it disheartening that some don't quite understand how not having a chin can wreak havoc on one's self esteem. it irks me that some people think it's "cosmetic" to want a chin/jaw, like all normal people, and I don't think it's vain at all. but i do understand what you're going through. most of us probably can relate.
my oral surgeon told me to tell people, if they ask, that "i'm correcting my bad bite." i like that - it's straight forward and simple. and no one should have any issues with that. afterall, most people have had braces yet rarely is it considered vain to want straight teeth and a pretty smile.
also, one thing us jaw surgery candidates sometimes forget (because we are not dealing with it today while we are young) is that we are likely saving ourselves a whole host of health issues that occur when ones has an improper bite. my dentist told me that having jaw surgery and correcting my bite will prevent further damage to my TMJs/osteoarthritis that has already started to form and can help prevent periodontal disease.
personally, for me another key reason to have the surgery is to be able to breathe normally. being a severe chronic mouth breather, i have a lot of problems working out and exercising and the mouth breathing is responsible for my sleep apnea. i believe each person has self responsibility for their health and well being and for me, jaw surgery is part of the process of becoming as healthy as is within my personal control. i work out several days a week, try to get as much sleep as possible and i eat healthy, so why would i stop there? psychological health is just as important as physical health and i think our society isn't as kind or supportive when it comes to mental well being...we have a long way to go.
because i feel so strongly that having jaw surgery is the best thing for my health, i have found that this makes me pretty open about going through all of this. people are usually interested in it and there have been a handful who have said "why would you go through this" or "you don't need it" but for the most part, the reaction is more supportive. thinking of jaw surgery as a way to improve your health might help you to answer questions from others.
congratulations btw on being so close to D-day!
Tara
Hi Rhianna, your day is almost here!!! I agree totally with Tara.
ReplyDeleteAs for sharing, no one but fellow jaw bloggers knows about my blog. I don't really talk about the surgery or my bite problems with many people. My family is sort of out of the picture in a general way, and people at work know, but outside of a few close friends, I don't talk about it that much. People who ask why I have braces are usually just surprised and say "but your teeth are already straight!" I just say, "I know, but my jaw is crooked, so none of my teeth touch and it's really hard to eat and it's painful." That's usually enough to satisfy their curiosity. Blogging has been very helpful for me, because it's a way to talk about the problem, express worries and hopes, etc., with people who really understand because they're going through it too.
Good luck on surgery day!
hey;
ReplyDeletepretty much everyone summed up what i was going to say; the thing is some people find it interesting and then you have those who no matter how much you try to tell them that its medically necessary they say "sounds more like a plastic procedure" and its it irritates you.
i guess thats the beauty of this blog it allows you to enteract with other people who are undergoing the same procedures and they know how you feel. you dont have to explain yourself or justify your actions because were all going thru the same thing...and most importantly people on here dont judge you like some people who are clueless about the whole "jaw surgery"
varies from person to person really